The War on Pants

My children have started a War on Pants.

I'm not sure exactly what pants have done to them, but my, oh my, they are putting up one hell of a fight!

I dress them in the morning. Shirt, underwear/diaper, pants. Within an hour, at least one has removed his pants, and if one does it, the other is likely to follow suit. Furthermore, the one still wearing a diaper believes that diapers are ALSO the enemy. Usually right after he's pooped. Which makes for awesome clean up (no one thinks about the innocent bystanders in these kind of conflicts!!).

Last week, I was outside working in the garden. My hands were covered with mud because I'd just finished planting something. Out comes Jacob, his bottom half completely naked...and let's just say his bottom matched my muddy hands. Ew.

Of course, this would be an appropriate time for the neighbor to walk up and say hello. He didn't notice the pantslessness of my child at very first.

"Oh, hi, Jake! Are you working in the yard with mom?" (Not so casual glance down, double take between Jake and my muddy hands) "Uhh, have fun! Talk to you later!"

Why. Me.

Yesterday, my older son was playing with the hose and his pants got wet. He runs inside immediately and then re-emerges with his snazzy Spiderman skivvies on display for the world to see! I ask him to go put pants on. He tells me they're too wet. As we're arguing about how much laundry Mommy has to do and he should just put the pants back on because they weren't really THAT wet, my other son derobes. He doesn't back down when a battle with the enemy ensues. He's always there to remove his pants if his brother has!

I put pants back on them both.

As soon as I'm not looking, the pants are again removed.

We go through this process often, and I am really at my wit's end. It never fails that they decide to take off their pants right before a guest shows up or the mailman comes in the yard or something. No, it's not "end-of-the-world" embarrassing or anything, but it is frustrating.

My Gram laughs and tells me I was worse when I was their age. And she has the naked baby pictures to prove it. I know she's right; I know it's not anything to be worried about. I guess at least they haven't tried to do it in public. But. Still. At the very least my laundry basket is angry because of all the extra pants it's had lately.

I give up; I'm not cut out for war.

smaller hippie baby


TKW said...

This one had me laughing out loud! My first-born is a nudist of the first water; the minute she gets home from school, off come the pants. And often, the shirt as well.

C (Kid Things) said...

My kids do the same. My 4 year old has always loved to run around without any clothes on and now my 22 month old daughter is following suit. Birthday suit, that is. I can keep her in a onesie still, though, which cuts down on her nudist activity. My son, on the other hand, I've threatened to duct tape his clothes to him before.

Aging Mommy said...

I never remember doing this as a child, or my sister and none of her kids or my daughter do it. Maybe it's a hereditary thing :-)

I am picturing the look on your neighbors face and trying not to laugh again as I write this!

Corinne said...

We are so there with you!!! My kids decided this week to embrace the nudists life... and it's great at home, but not when they want to go out!! (and really, not so great when it's a 21 month old who thinks she's potty trained but she really hasn't grasped the concept yet...)
:) Love the picture!

M said...

Sounds like fun over at your house. Take lots of pictures and show them when they are older.

Jamie said...

*lol* My son hasn't hit this stage yet...hopefully he skips it! :)

AmandaRaeShelton said...

Ok. I know as mom's we are all laughing. Such a cute story. But we have all been there too. And while you can think back and laugh right now it is highly annoying. All of the extra laundry would drive me insane!!!

I guess you could choose to not cloth them and that would cut down on some of it ;)

Rebecca S. Mullen said...

Duct tape. This is my recommended solution. Because it really cuts down on laundry.

Not really, obviously. But I dream about solutions like this when facing piles of things that need washing.

So, I'm laughing so hard at this story, especially the moment when your neighbor first says "Hi", then decides he needs to leave. Is he afraid he will be employed???

Great writing.

I'm totally in the moment with you. Oddly enough, these are the moments I treasure as a mother. I'm not sure why. I think they make me realize I must REALLY love my kids.

cheri said...

my 2-year-old still asks for help to take off his pants/shorts.

from SITS :)

Heather said...

Lemons out of lemonade idea: mulch?