Maybe it's because we've spent the last two days stuck inside while it's raining out, or maybe it's because I have a tendency to let my anger simmer until it suddenly boils over, but I'm having a terrible Mommy evening.
I just screamed at my (almost) 2-year-old. This is when Mommy knows she needs a break.
He filled his Little People bus with all of the wipes from the wipe container. Which might have been funny, if this hadn't been the millionth time. He's been in trouble for it before, but it was the gentle, "I don't want to see this happen again" kind of trouble. Today, he got "Emergency: Mommy Malfunction. Please step away from the Mommy" type of trouble.
I've also been pretty short with my older son today; I've given a lot more lazy "no's" than I have in a while. No sitting on my lap. No I will not make you more chocolate milk until you find your Thomas cup. No I don't want to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And you don't either. NO NO NO.
When I get this way, I feel a little sick on the inside. I know I am being irrational and need to just chill out and regroup. But it's SO HARD once you get in the downward spiral. I've had a terrible time getting myself motivated today, the kids are driving me up a wall (2 days indoors tends to make them a little rambunctious), and even my husband is annoying me with his random snippets of chitchat about the computer cases he's drooling over on the internet.
The thing is, I feel like I've had a lot of "breaks" lately. I mean, people beg to take my kids overnight (we have a lot of family in the area). Why do I feel like I don't have time to think?
Maybe I've let myself have too much time and I've spoiled myself a bit? Maybe I need to buck up and get off the Emo train? I'm not sure.
But right now,
I feel
BLAH.
And
GRRR.
Bring on the bubble bath and cosmos.
7 comments:
I hear you. Usually I get a day (or God forbid a week) like this and a day later, someone finally shows cold symptoms, or I realize they're going through a growth spurt, or I come down with something, or I put my finger on the developmental milestone that we passed and I realize, "Oh. It wasn't me."
You're doing your best. Really. Really.
Audio books? They're like TV with less guilt!! I just don't know if your kiddos are old enough.
As I was reading, I kept thinking this mommy needs a bubble bath. Interesting how you put that at the end.
May I suggest some chocolate?
Hope it passes soon.
Two days in the house would have me climbing the walls (and eating too much chocolate), too!
And sometimes I find that I have sudden attacks of impatience when things have been going along SO smoothly for a while. Then when they aren't anymore, I'm not used to it being so constant and frazzling and obnoxious. I don't think it's a symptom of being spoiled...just a symptom of being shaken out of your groove.
Hope you get your bubble bath!
:) I did take a bubble bath last night...at 10pm, which felt weird. But it meant there were no children interrupting! I read like 3 chapters in my book before the water got too cold. And man, did it feel good. I woke up in a much better mood, so I'm pretty sure it helped!
We all have these days you know, I had one yesterday, trying to pack too much into the morning, then getting stressed and mad at my daughter when it was not her fault at all. I too feel as you so well describe it, bad on the inside when that happens but since I started blogging three months ago I have learned that all Moms really do have these days. It's hard, being at home all day with little children because wonderful as they are, they also never stop, talking, doing, demanding, so sometimes your head feels it might just explode! As far as I know there is no known cure for it - just know tomorrow will be better :-)
Sometimes you need more than just time... sometimes those moods happen when you're rested and have had time to yourself, and you don't expect it.
It's part of mothering... the not fun part. The overwhelming and crazy part that comes up and bubbles out and you can't do anything about it.
Hugs to you, mama. hope tomorrow is better. Remember to be gentle with yourself.
Argh, I hate those days when my kids are pushing my buttons FAR more easily than they should. A bath and a cosmo sound divine...I hope you got them both.
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