rules for giving my children birthday presents: to my in-laws (with love)

1) I know how fun it is to go to the toy section and pick out a toy that you think is really awesome to give to my children. However, I would appreciate it if you at least asked me if there is something in particular that he would like to have. I would also appreciate it if you did not choose the loudest, most annoying toy possible just because you think it's funny.

2) Please keep in mind that one of my children is 2 years younger than the other. When you buy my 3 year old toys that are meant for 6 year olds, remember that a 1 year old will also most likely try to play with it (i.e. he will most likely BREAK it which will lead to tears and much pandemonium).

3) Think about all the other toys you have brought to my children in the last oh...month. Do we REALLY need ANOTHER one???

4) Thank you for giving my children a present. Thank you for bringing one for the younger child even though it's not his birthday. But when they get a little older, the younger one is going to start noticing that he got a crappy ball on his brother's birthday, and on his birthday his big brother got an entire playset. Some consistency would be appreciated. I have 2 equally amazing children and favoritism is not allowed.

5) It's awesome that you find deals on stuff at the thrift store. It's cool that you would look there first and reuse a toy that someone else no longer needed. But PLEASE bring it to us clean and in working order...do you know how hard it is to tell a 3 year old that they can't play with their new toys until I wash them?! And what do I say when they ask where the missing pieces are?

6) I know you love my children. They know it, too. So please don't feel obligated to give them enormous amounts of junk food and candy in an attempt to win their heart. They loved you without the 2 gigantic bags of pixie sticks. And who gives pixie sticks for a birthday present, anyways?

I love my in-laws and I know they mean well but...if I could really give them these rules, birthdays would be a lot easier for me to handle :p